Journal Entry...12.04.2010 - Prayer vs. Sovereignty

Thank you Lord for good sleep -- 5:00 A.M. sure comes early...
It was a bit hard to drop into that river of sleep last night. Anticipation of going back to school today kept me on the edge of awareness for quite some time.

Thank you Lord for friends and time together. It was good doing lunch with Judy, and then visiting with Lydia in the evening.

Thank you Lord God for my Pastor Matt, who preached Sunday - it was really good...He talked about the sovereignty of God and prayer -- and how important both are.
You are sovereign Lord, and your word tells us over and over to PRAY! Matt used a verse from Exodus where you are planning to send the people back to Egypt, and Moses begs you not to. The scripture uses the word "relent"...that You relented!

Another scripture came to my mind. I couldn't find it last night -- but it is the one where the woman asks for healingfor her daughter, and Jesus says something like, I came for the Jews...(I think)...then, she said something like -- even the dogs get the crumbs that fall from the Master's table. And You healed her daughter! Did you relent there too??

So, in reflecting on all of that, I think that I don't do nearly enough asking - praying - seeking - knocking - imploring....I just take it for granted that you are sovereign and that you've "got-it".

Help me Lord to pray in ALL things, and to pray for your hand in all things in my life. My mind is constantly mulling-endlessly about so many of the trivialities of life, yet I fail to lift each one to You in prayer. Help me God to focus on those things that matter, and turn each thought into prayers to you -- My Mighty God -- The Lord of Heaven's Armies.

Matt. 15: 21 - 28
21 And Jesus went away from there and withdrew to the district of Tyre and Sidon. 22 And behold, a Canaanite woman from that region came out and was crying, "Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David; my daughter is severely oppressed by a demon." 23 But he did not answer her a word. And his disciples came and begged him, saying, "Send her away, for she is crying out after us." 24 He answered, "I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel." 25 But she came and knelt before him, saying, "Lord, help me." 26 And he answered, "It is not right to take the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs." 27 She said, "Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table." 28 Then Jesus answered her, "O woman, great is your faith! Be it done for you as you desire." And her daughter was healed instantly.

Quiet Time - Pastor Matt on my mind...

I have been so sad, but thinking now that sadness must end, and that thankfulness and rejoicing must begin.

• None of us are promised tomorrow.
• I am thankful that God has given me my pastor for the past 7 years, and now for another day.
• None of us are promised that life will be happy and always good, but are told that troubles and sorrow will come into our lives.
• I am thankful that my pastor practices what he preaches.
• God has numbered each of Matt's days.
• God has breathed life into me, and He has numbered each of my days.
• I don't think that God planned for me to be sorrowful and to not trust in Him on day 19,435.
• God is sovereign.
• God has a purpose and a plan.
• Today I will trust Him.
• Today I pray the Lord show me His perfect purpose for my life, and help me to live each moment passionately for Him.
• Matt's awesome preaching of the Truth has brought God's word to life in my heart. I thank my God and praise Him alone.
• Through this weighty struggle of the Chandler's personally -- and it's effect on all our church, I am thankful that we are brought to our knees - that we continually seek the heart of our Father - running to our Lord and finding there that He catches each tear. I am thankful that I can "ask", "seek", "knock", and that when I do, my Lord God is always there with open arms.
• I am thankful for another day of strength and healing for Matt.
• I'm looking forward to seeing him strong and well, and preaching God's good word.
• I'm grateful now to watch Matt live out God's word as he "fights the good fight".

This earthly nightmare...

...your heavenly piece of

an incomprehensible puzzle.

"I AM". Exodus 3:13-14

The Heart

Not a soul battle,

but a heart battle.

My soul is bought and paid for...

My heart battles each moment

of each day...

Creator or creation?

...give me a "God" shaped heart.

Praying for Matt...

Oh Lord, today is Matt's surgery. Your will be done. You are God. You are in control. You breathed life into Matt 34 years ago, and you ignited your Spirit in him. He is in your powerful hands.

And Lord God, I plead for his life as he goes through this brain surgery today. I pray for your presence in the operating room - guiding the surgeons hand. I pray a hedge of protective angel warriors all around that place, that no fiery arrows can come near. I pray for precise cuts, strong and complete probes, and removal of this mass. I pray that Matt's vital functions, emotions, and creativity go unharmed. I pray for an amazing recovery and miraculously manifested new beginnings.

Psalm 57:7 My heart is confident in you oh God, my heart is confident.

I pray for Lauren oh Lord - your arms around her, whispering into her heart, to be still and know that You are God. I pray the comfort and peace of your Holy Spirit continually washing over her today.

Lord, I pray for my dear friend Janet. A mother's heart....I am so reminded of Your mother, Mary -- A mother's journey is not an easy one...I pray you give her strength today Lord, as she anxiously waits. The baby that moved in her womb, the little boy that got into things, the young man that seemed at times hopeless, the man that you called, the young Pastor that loves you Lord and whose Holy Spirit inspired words touch so many - ...her baby boy......I pray you give Janet a strength and peace that only you can give, as she trusts her baby boy into your strong hands.

Lord, You are God. You are in control. We faithfully trust in You.

Psalm 2:12 Blessed are all who take refuge in Him.

My Favorite Season!

This morning, as I make a bowl of hot old fashioned oatmeal, I add sweet cream butter, brown sugar, chopped dates, and my favorite ingredient of all -- P E C A N S! (...and that is pronounced - pc-ahhh-ns....) **sweet southern giggle**

As I held the pecan halves in my hands, and broke them into smaller pieces into my oatmeal, I was carried back to another time...another place....

When I was young, on our farm...I would go horseback riding with my cousin Lisa. Fall was the best season to ride! The air was crisp, the leaves were golden, and fell in a magical carpet before us as we rode beneath the orchards of pecan trees. We would laugh and giggle, as young girls do...and share our dreams...

As we rode, the broad arms of the trees would reach out to us, and offer their sweet pecans. We would reach up and grab a handful of pecans, press them together in our tiny hands and listen to them "c r a c k". We would hungrily break off the shell, clean off the sweet-meat inside and hungrily pop the nut into our mouths -- oh my - the most w o n d e r f u l taste!!

Last week when I was Trick-or-Treating with my grandsons, we were walking beneath some pecan trees -- and that childhood memory rushed back to me, as I picked up two pecans and cracked them between my now older and arthritic hands....

And, as I eat this oatmeal, laden with rich pecans, I thank my Creator for my often troubled childhood -- that also had many sweet memories. I thank Him for my grandchildren, and for today....I thank Him for growing me in Him.